Making Room for Ease in an Uncertain World

Rainy-Day Reflections · Essay On Letting Yourself Have Fun Those who are happy can yield; those who are at ease can go out and have fun.

Lately, the world has felt a little noisy.

Sometimes you are suddenly reminded that many things have no reasonable explanation, and many people's lives have very little room for error. You think the days will follow yesterday's course, and in the next instant they may turn somewhere nobody expected.

At times like these, it is easy to feel weighed down.

You begin to ask over and over: Why did this happen? If only things had gone differently... would it have been avoided? What is wrong with this world? The more you think, the more you feel a knot in your chest. It can seem that only by remaining angry and sad, and constantly seeking an explanation for the world, can you do justice to the things that hurt us.

Sadness is natural, and concern for others' misfortune is precious. But these feelings need an outlet, and people need a chance to breathe.

Eating, sleeping, chatting, going out, and occasionally laughing at something—ordinary little things like these can bring us back. We need to leave room for such moments in our days.

We All Need to Leave Ourselves Some Room to Relax

I used to think we should take everything a little more seriously.

When I saw injustice, I thought I should argue my case; when I heard bad news, I should take a stand; when someone suffered, I should immediately feel their pain. It was as though only by turning my emotions all the way up could I count as a person with a conscience.

But people's energy and emotional reserves are limited after all.

You can care about many things without being able to bear all of them. You can know that someone far away is suffering, but you cannot cancel your dinner because of it; you can remain alert to the world without refusing every joy.

Otherwise the world's suffering gains a strange victory: not only does it hurt those experiencing it, but it also takes away the ability of onlookers to continue living.

I do not want that. Life is hard enough already. If we willingly give up even its small comforts, as though happiness were a sin, what will we have left with which to face life?

Those Who Are Happy Can Yield

I have recently grown fond of a rather modest saying: Those who are happy can yield; those who are at ease can go out and have fun.

It may even sound a little unambitious.

When others fight, I do not; when someone insists on proving they won, I say, 'Fine, you win'; when a disagreement escalates over a single remark, I leave it there. Some arguments spoil your mood even if you win them. They simply are not worth it.

There are, of course, things in life worth fighting for. As for insignificant misunderstandings and quarrels, it is all right to let them go.

Yield where you can, leave alone what you can, and let go of what you can.

Your time and emotional energy deserve to be spent somewhere better.

The argument ends here; I have my own life to live. I do not want one sentence from a stranger to decide whether I take a walk tonight or lie in bed seething.

Those Who Are Happy Can Yield Think about what you might eat tonight or where you could go this weekend, and this passing argument starts to feel less important.

Those Who Are at Ease Can Go Out and Have Fun

I like the expression 'shua qi'—to go out and have some fun.

Hearing 'pull yourself together,' 'work hard,' or 'face life positively' can sometimes feel like pressure instead. You are tired already, and now you are expected to summon more energy.

'Shua qi' sounds much lighter. It is a little unserious, a little casual, and carries a hint of 'oh well, let's go for a walk first.'

Before the sky falls, finish the food in your hands. If you cannot make sense of things, go feel the breeze. Even without a grand ambition, you can just talk to someone, play a game of ball, watch a film, or buy a drink you like downstairs.

It is fine to feel a little more comfortable and set aside problems you cannot solve for now. Let yourself have no answer today, and do not turn everything into a question about the meaning of life. Amid the chaos, allow yourself to savor fresh-baked bread, an evening breeze, or an ill-timed laugh.

I increasingly think whether someone can let themselves have fun depends, of course, on money and time, but even more on whether they permit themselves to enjoy things.

Some people keep scolding themselves even when they get a break. Even in a beautiful place, they think of their next task; even at dinner with friends, they feel they should take photos, document it, and write a summary, as if life is wasted unless it becomes some kind of output.

Yet many moments in life have no purpose beyond making you feel good.

That is enough.

The Days Are Long; Take Them Slowly

Writing this down is also a reminder to myself.

I will still get angry about things, feel sad at the news, and lie awake late at night thinking about questions I cannot answer. When I am the one caught up in it, I probably will not find it easy to let go either.

I hope that next time I can put down my phone and go to sleep a little earlier. The things I cannot figure out can wait until morning.

The world will not improve because I suffer a while longer, nor will it become worse because I go out and have fun today. So why can't I make myself a little more comfortable where I can?

I can care about the world and take care of myself first, too.

I can grieve for other people's misfortunes and still go eat a meal afterward.

I can acknowledge life's uncertainty and stubbornly preserve a little ease within it.

Those who are happy can yield; those who are at ease can go out and have fun. When there is a breeze, feel it; when there is food, eat it; when there are friends, go have fun together. Go have fun.